Running with Scissors
by slack-jawed cheese hugger
Summary: Summary: When a prodigy, a self-proclaimed idiot, a puppeteer, and her sister start running around, that is troublesome. Very troublesome. Especially when Akatsuki relatives are involved... OC's, as well as normal characters; a collab with friends. Review
1. WTF City

Disclaimer: own naught. Oc's, ours.

This is the story of a few of our OC's! in Naruverse. They are part of the InterNational Peace Effort, or INPE.

Caution: THIS FILE IS CLASSIFIED. HANDLE WITH CARE.

Running with Scissors

Chapter 1: WTF City

"What _is _it with all this _dust?"_

A female scream echoed across the gigantic, empty field. It was completely still except for the plumes of fine dust that rose wherever the four stepped. This was _not_ a good place to be a ninja.

Or thirsty, for that matter.

The little group was tired, hungry, thirsty, and the majority of them were _pissed off._ The only one who wasn't complaining was a little girl, who appeared to be very interested in the wind. She stuck up both arms together, then pulled them apart to rest at her sides, leaving a delicate sheet of glass suspended in the air. She closed her eyes, holding the glass whorl gently, and walking forward. If you were to look very closely, she was frowning slightly in concentration.

All of a sudden, her eyes snapped open.

"Hey."

Her friends turned to look at her quizzically.

The boy, apparently the leader of the group, sighed dramatically, and rested his hand on his hip, tipping his head back slightly. He regarded her through slitted eyes. _What's she thinking? I wish I could tell… _He grinned, suddenly quite sure of what was going to come out of her mouth next. From various places on his body, he picked two scrolls, one with an image of a snail, the other with a picture of a kunai, obviously for summoning. He hefted them in his hands, feeling their comforting weight, and stood still, grinning cockily, still throwing the scrolls up and catching them on their way down, obviously a nervous occupation.

The tall, stocky woman who had been plodding along at the front of the group looked at her, and sighed. _What was it now?_ She sighed, sure they would have to wait even longer this time until the girl spoke. Taking her long ponytail in her hand, she began to fiddle with it nervously, glancing over at the boy to gauge his reaction. He always seemed to know what the younger girl was going to say; that is, if he was paying any attention at all.

Member number four, currently wearing a huge, light white cloak, was sniffing the ground like a dog; she seemed to fade, and the cloth fluttered down to fall and drape over the large dog that had appeared there, snuffling at the ground. She wasn't paying any attention to the silent conversation. As usual. The tallest of the three females grunted boredly, and twitched her left middle finger and thumb. With a sweeping step, the cloaked girl straightened up and padded over to join the group. She cocked her head to the side, awaiting instructions from her puppet-master.

The fragile-seeming girl drew a stream of glass from the huge metal haz-mat barrel strapped to her back. The glass slipped lazily and pointed towards the south, the direction they were facing. "They're coming…." She yawned openly. "I'm already bored…"

**ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

Okay, I know you want to know who they are, so I'll tell you next chapter! The OC's belong to moi, nate-squid-kun, and ino-brooke-chan, respectively. Names next time!

However! We own nothing but the ideas. Okay? Go find someone else to sue.

But… as a special challenge:

I'm going to give you how to spell their names!

In KANJI!!

Mwahahaha!

Format: First name, Family name.

Leader: 行き　 発見

Glass: 流星　 昏睡

Strong woman: 家江折　山中

Cloak w/ short attention span: 風神　七砂羽

Techincal detail: these, put together, _spell _their names. In hiragana.

They do NOT mean their names. That would be like calling someone 'flower bird face' instead of 'Bob'.

Good luck!


	2. Saying My Face

Wow, I'm so proud of myself.

And Nate.

And Brooke.

Heh.

Is it ANY good? Let me know! It's also posted on VampireIzzy's account, since it's her oc. Several of them are.

Good luck!


	3. Pretty Fly

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

All right, here we go! Chapter 2, here we come! By the way, this part is in First Person.

Running with Scissors

Chapter 2:

Pretty Fly

I looked in the direction Ryuusei was pointing. Focusing on my optical nerves, I could see them: A ragged bunch of ANBU, sprinting as fast as they could with their injuries. There must have been something horrid behind them… I slipped up, jumping straight into the air, and beat my wings, keeping myself aloft, and waited for the lovely thermal that was available throughout this shadeless plain. Once I was a few thousand feet up, I had to start beating my wings again, and I focused my lungs until they adjusted to the quickly thinning air at this mountainous elevation. Again, that sort of terrified, dropping feeling in the pit of my stomach; I gritted my beak and ignored it, choosing instead to look, with my enhanced eyes and my newfound altitude, behind the normally visible curve of the Earth that blocked most from seeing more than seven miles or so. My eyes snapped open wide.

What the hell was _that_ doing here?

And why was it heading so fast towards us?

Were we its target?

Suddenly protective and determined, I took one last breath and stopped beating my wings, tucking them tightly against my body. Immediately, I began to fall, increasing speed only slightly, having reached terminal velocity almost right away. As I waited to fall back down, I considered my options. I could grab them all and run, wait for it (and probably have to fight), or get trampled by the terrified shinobi thundering their way towards us.

Nearing the ground, I made my decision, and, loosing an ear-piercing shriek, got their attention, as well of those of the sprinting ANBU and _that_ running behind them, and threw out squid-like rubbery arms to snake onto the ground and slow my descent. Onee-sama was watching me, something bordering on worry flashing across her face, leaving her calm and composed. Ryuusei looked bored, and Ikin was almost jumping up and down in anticipation of my news.

Once I got to the valley floor, retracting the landing pillars, I made a mouth and started telling them, speaking rapidly, almost too fast to follow. Having shared my findings, I stretched into my 'pleasant company' form, and waited for conformation that they had understood me.

Ikin nodded curtly, tacking on a small grunt to show he grasped the situation. Ryuusei took a deep breath and held it, the information we had just gained scrolling through the heavy glass bangle she wore on her left wrist; it ended as quickly as it had come, leaving the perfectly smooth surface clear and unmarked.

Onee-sama twitched a few fingers, pulling me into a standing position, and had me reach towards her to make contact, assuring both of us that it was really the other, and not some impostor. We weren't going to fall for that again; everyone nearly died last time we did.

Pushing that to the back of my mind, I paid attention to what Leader-chan was saying. His face was perfectly serious, but I saw a glint of excitement in his eyes. I smiled inwardly. He never changed.

"-- and Sei-chan, go with Fuukami and Kaeori; they'll be incapacitated once it gets here. Wakarimashita?" He was smiling openly now, unable to contain his glee at the prospect of blood.

I nodded politely along with the other girls, biting my lip in an effort not to burst out laughing. _This is serious, _I reminded myself. The giggles subsided, our threesome having left Ikin behind us, building up strength; maybe he was even doing some kata while he was waiting.

We dashed towards the rising dust-cloud rising lazily behind the wounded shinobi, raising one of our own in our wake. As soon as we reached them, I reached out and pulled them in, extending my shell around all seven of us, having already moved my senses to the outer edge of my skin, so I was able to see what was happening inside as well as watching the approaching menace, judging quickly that we had about three hours and forty-eight minutes until it got here, and relayed the information as such to my companions working inside me. I felt them nod, and I turned my focus back onto the fallen soldiers.

In their haste, my sister and my companion had forgotten to remove the masks and various weapons from the four lying within my protective hide. Leaning backwards a little, I grabbed the weapons, masks, and outer clothing of our newest patients, tugging them off gently, my arms glowing green as I searched their bodies for wounds to avoid.

The first man seemed to be about my age, tall and frail. His hair was red, and I frowned slightly, lifting a bit of it to check if it was that color naturally. Weirdly enough, his hair was colored that way not because of copious amounts of fresh blood, but by genetics. How strange.

His Suna headband was clenched in his hand, almost as tattered as he was, and I began sweeping across his thin frame, healing minor injuries first as I searched for the worst bits. As I swept my hands over his pelvic area, he gasped, and I shot back up to his face, tilting my head sideways in confusion. Did I do something wrong?

The youth cracked open one eye, scanning me quickly. I drew back a bit, surprised at the accompanying flare of yellow chakra. He found me attractive? I was still a bit shaky on what was considered 'attractive', and I leaned forward, lowering my head until I was looking him in the eye. A flash of red caught my eye, and I noticed the blush spreading rapidly up his face and neck. Was he confused about my intentions? To prove to him I was not an enemy, I removed my hands and sat back, placing my arms at my side, exposing my vitals in a trusting gesture. His eyes widened, and his blush receded a bit, and he tried to sit up.

Immediately, I spread the 'floor' to hold him down in a protective shelter, restraining him from rising at all. I frowned at him, shaking my head as one would with a troublesome child. I reached up to his head, and he froze, following my hand with his eyes.

Two things happened at once.

I brushed his hair off his forehead gently, smiling at him, completely unaware of what was going to happen next.

A wave of sand grabbed me, and held me where I was, confusing and surprising me. I looked frantically down at the boy I was tending to, realizing quickly that he was controlling it.

"Let me go," I pleaded. His eyes widened, and then narrowed. He cracked open his lips to speak, but only a rasping attempt at speech left his throat. His black-rimmed eyes dimmed, seeming almost sad. His chakra field, while normally huge, became larger as he closed his eyes. It expanded to encompass me, and searched my body. I closed my eyes, bracing for the thrust required to enter someone's mind, which came, making me gasp.

The Suna shinobi wriggled uncomfortably, seeming not to like my discomfort, or his restraints. I retracted them, telling him with my eyes still closed, "Don't move; you'll just injure yourself further." Something about the way I was treating him clicked in his mind, registering as a blip on my radar. He had realized I wasn't going to hurt him.

Good.

With a sigh, he relaxed, all tendrils of mine, his, and his sand, retracting to their origins. I opened my eyes and began conducting an exam of his injuries.

His chest had some bruises on it, and it had had a few minor cuts as well, all of which I had already dealt with. However, there was a gash on his shoulder, traveling down to the left side of his chest. It was red and irritated; not a good sign.

Treatment time: twenty-three minutes and fourteen seconds.

When I left him, he was meditating. I still had no idea who he was, except that he was an insomniac, no sleep from birth; he was a jinchuuriki, which was surprising, but good to know; he had the kanji 'ai' or 'love' scarred on his forehead; his hair was most definitely that color naturally (just keep thinking about it); and he had no eyebrows.

That was the funny part.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Don't worry; she's going to tend to the other three next. By the way, she's 14 yoa in this story.

No introductions until next chapter! However, I will tell you this:

Leader: Ikin

Glass: Ryuusei

Strong: Kaeori

Cloak: Fuukami

Hope you liked this chapter!


	4. Fridays with Mr Belly

Fuukami was busy

All right, I finally finished this! w00t!

Running with Scissors

Chapter 3  
Fridays with Mr. Belly

omgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbq

Tomomi was busy.

She was very busy.

There was no way she could be made to pay attention now.

She was staring at the kabuki guy, her second patient, who was, apparently, quite interesting, and mumbling to herself.

It made me wonder what he looked like…

I sighed and turned back to my unnaturally pale attendee.

He seemed to be drawn in black and white, almost no other color visible on his entire body. The only other hue was red, a deep, wholesome crimson, which I currently had, after sewing his stomach wound up, washed gently off his body and currently was suspended in a gentlesphere floating near my right ear. I'd already done a primary exam, checking for poison, wounds, mental scarring, blisters, uncauterized gashes, anything that could make his condition worse.

In his sleep, this man was so peaceful. He seemed completely apathetic, emotionless; a trait that marked him immediately in my mind as an ANBU ROOT Ops nin. His warped hitai-ate bore the Konoha leaf, barely recognizable after all the bending it had endured. Once I had gotten off his clothes, conducted the exam, and covered his privates respectfully with a piece of cloth, I sat back to watch him.

Treatment time: Twenty- six minutes, three-point-six seconds.

Upon seeing this male, I had understood he was used to working either in black or at night. His skin was a translucent white usually associated with anemia; however, as far as i could 'see' it was not the result of a medical condition, just very light skin. It struck me that if he was a ROOT Ops nin, he wasn't going to tell me _anything_ when he woke up. My conscience scolded me, reminding me that he would be nice to have there, helping us. They don't take just _anyone_ to be an ANBU, much less a ROOT Ops. Danzou wouldn't have such a fierce reputation if he did.

omgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbq

_Hey, this guy has weird paint._

I know I'm not supposed to touch stuff I'm not sure of, but it doesn't really matter. Dragging a finger through the stuff I'd sucker-pulled off his face, I considered it. It was purple.

I decided to do face-paint, because all the other patients were taken care of.

Lemme tell you, that stuff may look weird, but it feels weirder. Like slugs. Personally, I thought it was _awesome._ I can't see my face, so I decided to draw on my chest instead. After ridding myself of that stupid cloak and putting on some shorts for decency's sake (I don't care, but Onee-sama and Ryuusei-san do) I started by painting a smiley face on my belly, with my bellybutton as a nose. Yes, I remembered the bellybutton. Then I started talking with Mr. Belly as I waited for cat-man to wake up.

"Hi, Mr. Belly!"

"**Hey there, Tomo-chan! What're you doing today?"**

"Today we're dealin' with some Konoha and Suna shinobi!"

He was waking up, and I decided to give him about ten more seconds of groggy-time.

"**Sounds like fun! What do they look like?"**

He rolled over and looked at me.

"Well, one's black and white, another one I haven't seen, and the other two are Tanuki-san over there and Kitty-man over here."

He cleared his throat. "Does… does it really look like a cat?"

I spun to face him. "Well, yeah, but--"

The guy went an even brighter red than Tanuki-san's hair. He blinked a couple times, jaw wide open, and I noticed I wasn't wearing a shirt. Stupid me. Watching him, I put on a breast-binding and cocked my head to the side. "What?"

"Y-you weren't wearing anything."

"I noticed now."

"Oh."

It was quiet, and I took the opportunity to check outside. "Thirty-six minutes until shutdown!" Ryuusei nodded.

"What's your name?"

He blinked once before answering. "Kankuro. The, uh, Tanuki-san--" said shinobi shot him a glare-- "-is my brother, Gaara. That's Sai, and there's Kiba. We.." he coughed and I frowned, pushing him onto his back. I wrapped my fingers around his throat, rubbing at the sore spot he had on the side of his trachea.

Making a 'tsk' sound with my toungue, I shook my head.

Kankuro-neko-nin was red again…

omgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbqomgwtfbbq

Okay, sorry for the confusion. I haff been corrected; Stretchy in the cloak is Tomomi. Gomen.

Yeah, I realize it's been forever. I'm just too lazy… argh..

Review?


End file.
